I lol'd for a bit V6.0

[gareth_oau]

A teacher asks little johnny to create a sentence using the word "contagious".

Johnny replies:

on sunday my dad was watching the next door neighbour sand and paint his fence. He grabbed a beer, sat down and said "this is going to take the contagious"

[Preen59]

Hahaha.. Loving it.

[woofy]

Kwality! (a recall has been announced in the USA)

Have a look at my comments in the Skoda section about a brand new Cruze I had the misfortune of being handed the other week as a hire car. Greatest POS I have ever seen, and they market them as being Australian designed etc, like hell they are.

[Jayse]

shoulda used some lube:

Man bursts into flames in San Francisco porn shop | Herald Sun

[woofy]

I remember being fascinated in primary school after reading about people who spontaneously combust in a magazine series we used to get for the classroom. I would say it was National geographic but think it was something else kinda like that.

[Pepe]

Kwality! (a recall has been announced in the USA)

Isn't that basically the same car our government just subsidised Holden to build here?

[woofy]

Yes, I had a whole rant the other day about it and people wondered why I was annoyed at home. After the govt invested in them producing this polished heap of crap I'd be asking for money back. I can't think of any other car I've driven that annoyed me so much. It's an embarrassment.

[hooba]

[gareth_oau]

• The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman was one of 19.36m (63ft 2ins), equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. Elizabeth Simpkins, driving an unmodified Toyota Corolla on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuvre at 11.15am in Cooper street, Fitzroy,and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement 8 hours 14 minutes later.There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and two adjoining cars, as well as a shop frontage and two lampposts.
  
• The longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 504 km (313 miles) from Warwick (QLD) to Gunnedah (NSW) by Dr. Julie Thorn at the wheel of a Saab 900 on the 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning 8 kilometers into her journey at Warwick but pressed on to Gunnedah with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed journey with the choke fully out and the right indicator flashing.
  
• The longest time spent dithering in a shop was 12 days between 21st August and 2nd September 1995 by Mrs. Sandra Wilks in the Brisbane branch of David Jones. Entering the shop on a Saturday morning, Mrs Wilks could not choose between two near identical dresses which were both in the sale. After one hour, her husband, sitting on a chair by the changing room with his head in his hands, told her to buy both. Mrs. Wilks eventually bought one for $52.99, only to return the next day and exchange it for the other one. To date, she has yet to wear it. Mrs. Wilks also holds the record for window shopping longevity, when, starting September 12th 1995, she stood motionless gazing at a pair of shoes in Myers window in Brisbane for 3 weeks two days before eventually going home.
  
• Mrs. Mary Caterham and Mrs. Marjorie Steele sat in a kitchen in Dapto,NSW. and talked about nothing whatsoever for four and a half months from 1st May to 7th August 1978, pausing only for coffee, cakes and toilet visits. Throughout the whole time, no information was exchanged and neither woman gained any new knowledge whatsoever. The outdoor record for talking about nothing is held by Mrs. Vera Etherington and her neighbour Mrs. Dolly Booth of Ipswich QLD, who between 11th November 1983 and 12th January 1984 chuntered on over their fence in an unelightening dialogue lasting almost 62 days until Mrs.Booth remembered she'd left the bath running.
  
• The record for the largest group of women to visit a toilet simultaneously is held by 147 workers at the Centerlink office ,Perth WA. At their annual Christmas celebration at a night club in Fremantle on October 12th 1994, Mrs. Beryl Crabtree got up to go to the toilet and was immediately followed by 146 other members of the party. Moving as a mass, the group entered the toilet at 9.52pm and, after waiting for everyone to finish, emerged 2 hrs 37 mins later.
  
• A Frankston woman today became the first ever to break the thirty minute barrier for talking without drawing breath. Mrs.Mavis Sommers,48, smashed the previous record of 23 minutes when she excitedly reported an argument she'd had in the butchers to her neighbour. She ranted on for a staggering 32 minutes and 12 seconds without pausing for air, before going blue and collapsing in a heap on the ground. She was taken to The Mentone Medical centre in a wheelbarrow but was released later after check-ups. At the peak of her mammoth motormouth marathon, she achieved an unbelievable 680 words per minute, repeating the main points of the story an amazing 114 times whilst her neighbour, Mrs. Dolly Knowles, nodded and tutted. The last third of the sentence was delivered in a barely audible croak, the last two minutes being mouthed only, accompanied by vigorous jesticulations and indignant spasms.

[Buller_Scott]

hahaha good stuff.

i hear that about the parking though...