I lol'd for a bit V3.0

[pokiou]

i love this thread so ill try and contribute lol

[pokiou]

[Dub_Star_V6]

In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom,
it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.

In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
conditioner:
Cools and Heats: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him
melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

[hooba]

Ten Thoughts to Ponder

Number 10: Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9: Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
die.

Number 8: Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without
an erection, make him a sandwich .

Number 7: Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person
to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6: Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5: Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals,
dying of nothing.

Number 4: All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.

Number 3: Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a
substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2: In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought: Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you
do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

[hazrd]

[Tonz]

If peanut oil comes from peanuts
and canola oil comes from canola seed,
and if olive oil comes from olives

where


does


baby oil come from????

[Preen59]

where


does


baby oil come from????

Not where you'd think.

Tried it. Didn't work. Next door neighbour very upset.

[maca]

If peanut oil comes from peanuts
and canola oil comes from canola seed,
and if olive oil comes from olives

where


does


baby oil come from????

Same place babies come from

[team_v]

Same place babies come from

Baby seed

[gareth_oau]

Same place babies come from

ahhhhh -storks!!