Humour section

[Jarred]

The problem with humor is there is no black and white, to whats funny, what's not, what's racist what's not. it's nigh on impossible to 'draw a line', imo.

I'd rather have a strictly policed humor section, rather than no humor section at all.

[maca]

The problem with humor is there is no black and white, to whats funny, what's not, what's racist what's not. it's nigh on impossible to 'draw a line', imo.

I'd rather have a strictly policed humor section, rather than no humor section at all.

Still gotta be lenient enough to actually be funny though. No point in having the sections if it doesn't prove it's point.

"If you think it's going to offend you, don't look"

You're taking the chance by looking at it and if you don't like it it's your own fault for taking that chance.

We're all lucky i'm not a Mod... Hmm that gives me an idea

[FJ Steve]

Maca....you have my vote.

[Rocket36]

Excuse the ignorance, but who is he?

[edit] never mind - just saw the General section and that he was someone that died. Guessing he was funny...

[RhysQ]

Excuse the ignorance, but who is he?

[edit] never mind - just saw the General section and that he was someone that died. Guessing he was funny...

he was not only a man of constant good humor but was one of the main contributors to the humor section.

[mrlex]

I'm not normally suspicious, but the wife told me yesterday that Gavin from OBrienGlass came round and injected his special resin into her crack.

She hasn't even got a car.

Edit: Sorry guys just realised ive put this in the wrong place

[Jettinabout]

I truly cannot believe the anal retentiveness of some people and they are not just limited to this forum either.

The heading of the section clearly states humour and as such there is a good chance that there will be posted at sometime or other a joke or picture that may offend(most of the time not intended, just a bit over the top for those easily offended). If you are that easily offended, then just close the humour section(that you really should not be in if you are that easily offended) you are in, and go to the one in the forum most liked by you and stay there...

I don't care to hear of what you are offended by(USUALLY SOMETHING VERY MINOR) .....you are most likely a passive bully(you know the ones...those who make out they are squeaky clean and create havoc by aside whispers and covert backstabbing) who spends most of your life complaing about minor issues and when you get to 60 then realise that life has passed you by.

Now I will wait for the usual replies.....from the usual sooks.

[Ironman]

Here is some humour and Fact!

I absolutely love this, who-ever thought it up is a genius, they need congratulating. ENJOY

Dear Ms. Gillard,



Please find below our suggestion for fixing Australia 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the

money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan..

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them $1 million each severance for early retirement with the

following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.

Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new Australian car.

Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -

Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -

Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy $100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....

and there's your money back in duty/tax etc

6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme

that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to

reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back

their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know. If

not, please disregard.

Grumpies of the World Unite

Also .

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and

walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical

treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it

out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped

instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed

and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and

snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual

counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on

request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with

gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards

would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.

Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay

$600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE AUSTRALIAN CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a

Constitution for Iraq ... Why don't we just give them ours?

It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for

centuries and we're not using it anymore.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a

courthouse or Parliament, is this -

You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit

Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and

politicians...... It creates a hostile work environment.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also;

Think about this .... If you don't want to forward this for fear of

offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy

old folk of Australia to speak up!

[maca]

I'd love to know why a November 2009 thread was revived and opened for response...

[bazzle]

Getting this section back on Track

A 7-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom.

"You know what?" says the 7-year-old. "I think it's about time we started swearing."
The 4-year-old nods his head in approval, so the 7-year-old says, "When we go downstairs for breakfast,
I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me; okay?"

"Okay," the 4-year-old agrees with enthusiasm.

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7-year-old what he wants for breakfast.

"Oh, s#it mum, I don't know. I suppose I'll have some Coco Pops."

WHACK!!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up and ran upstairs, crying his eyes out.

She looked at the 4-year-old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but it won't be fuc#ing Coco Pops."