I have a 11/11 build, 1/12 complied 103TDI and the off road button was not included in my car. I would suggest it was standard on the MY11 models but not MY 12 which mine is.
I have the Bi-Xenons and they are great, as they also include cornering function and on dark tight country roads they work a treat.
I was actually going to order a 112 dsg 1.8l but could not find any with the minimum options I wanted (Xenons, Leather and Front and Rear sensors) I was not going to order one and pay full retail, the discounts offered were small.
I ended up buying a "demo" with 66km on it. It had only been registered a month and was very well optioned. As you mention the dealers tend to add a lot of features not just a few key ones. I ended up with Sunroof, Xenons, Columbus Nav (RNS510), Leather, Front and Rear sensor, cornering fog lights, MDI.
As it was a "Demo" and was an 11 build I got an $12k discount on RRP. So its worth loking around and seeing what is sitting in dealers inventories.
From what I have heard the upgraded stereo is apparently very good compared to the standard one.
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