ah that is unfortunate mate but not surprising. These auto boxes are problematic.
The shifting issues and revs are certainly indicative of faulty solonoids, can be low or poor oil as well though but it sounds like you have eliminated that as an option. On the plus side, the wrecker has come to the party somewhat.
Personally I think you're at the point of no return, I would opt to have the wrecker's box repaired and see if they'll contribute to the repair.
Paying someone to pull it out then return it doesn't really solve the problem, you'll still need working another box.
Additionally if the repair is say a $1000 fix (parts+labour) I can't see the wrecker outlaying 1/2 the bill when the original box was only $550.
I've message a friend of mine that had an identical issue in his V5. I'll see what he says and let you know.
Random thought, might be time for a manual swap
2004 VW Bora 4motion | 3.2 Swapped - R32 Trimmings | BBS CH | Forever fixing this bitch
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