I agree that this is totally unacceptable. Even to the point of saying that if they won't fix it you want all your money back or a repalcement vehicle. You need to put pressure on both the dealer and VWA (easier said than done), but remember to stay calm and determined.
I'll take a guess that it is a DMF issue. If so, VW (and Skoda too) definitely know about this, and it is a "problem" not a "characteristic".
Tell them you want written advice (signed by at least the dealer principal, if not a senior VWA person) stating that it isn't going to harm your car, as sometimes that places them in such an awkward position that they replace the faulty part rather than commit a lie to writing
If it is the DMF and it fails completely it will be quite expensive for VWA to fix, as it often takes out the bell housing and sometimes even the gearbox housing too. I've heard that in the UK they have had so many DMF failures (and the replacements are also failing) that VW have actually given up on DMFs and are replacing them with single mass flywheels (but there are recent reports that the latest sachs DMFs are faring better than the previous DMFs)
Because of the design of DMFs, I prefer to keep my TDI engine revs above 2,000 any time I want the engine to produce serious amounts of power (accelerating, going up steepish hells etc), as there are less engine power surges and vibrations for the DMF (and engine bearings) to absorb if you keep your revs up a bit.
If it does fail, I suggest you insist on an equivalent loan vehicle while yours is being fixed (that means you aren't disadvantaged while they muck about waiting for parts, approvals etc), and it also gives them the incentive to fix your car sooner rather than later.
2017 MY18 Golf R 7.5 Wolfsburg wagon (boring white) delivered 21 Sep 2017, 2008 Octavia vRS wagon 2.0 TFSI 6M (bright yellow), 2006 T5 Transporter van 2.5 TDI 6M (gone but not forgotten).
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