I don't think the appearance is negligable at all. If it were, you wouldn't be able to spot the difference between a 3 door and 5 door from a few hundred metres away.
There also IS more width in the rear of the 3dr. It's only about 3cm (according to VW specs) at the hips, but I know what ben is talking about, because there is no door, it feels wider as there is no handle or joins etc.
The front doors are also much longer on the 3dr, which to me makes the front seem much more spacious. After going from my 3dr into my friends 5dr, I feel really 'cramped'. Obviously the space is physically the same, it just feels different because of the positioning of the B-Pillar.
As for friends falling on their faces. I think you need to upgrade to more coordinated friends!
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